Cooking – something we need to do to survive, right? But what if you have never been taught to cook? What if you ruin mostly everything you have tried to cook? Even following a recipe and you screw it up. Hmm, let’s hope you marry someone or are in a relationship with someone who can and likes to cook.
I was never taught to cook. The kitchen was my mother’s domain. I have attempted over the years to cook various things. Some turned out not too bad. Others were sheer disasters.
Many years ago, I thought I would impress my new husband by making chicken soup from scratch. I bought a chicken and followed the recipe to the letter. Served up the soup…and here is what happened. No lie! My new husband dipped his spoon into his bowl and tasted the soup. He then, without saying a word, picked up his bowl and mine. Walked to the soup pot on the stove and poured both bowls back into the pot. Picked up the pot, strolled to the bathroom, dumped the soup into the toilet, and flushed.
Amazingly, I wasn’t upset. (I should also mention that his mom was a fabulous cook. She could have opened her own restaurant. Her baby back ribs, and Chinese food were incredible. So, my hubby was used to really good food.)
Once I tried to bake a “no fail” chocolate cake. Yep, it failed. You know the packages of instant muffin mix that you open and just add water. Yep, even screwed that up.
Amazingly enough, my roast turkey is not too bad. Can’t make gravy to save my life. I usually get someone else to make it. I can boil potatoes and vegetables. I make a rather good chicken stir fry that is actually quite tasty, and I can make a fairly decent lasagna.
Baking, forget that too! Can’t bake bread or buns. Pie crusts, not on a bet. Cookies are not too bad. Cakes are a little too dry and not so uniform. Desserts, hmm, not good at that either.
Luckily, my hubby can and likes to cook. His mom told him when he was young that he needed to learn to cook in case, a) he never married, b) married someone who didn’t like to cook or c) married someone who couldn’t cook. Just his luck. I fall into both the b and c categories. I thanked her many times over the years for teaching him to cook.
If and when my husband was away, not much cooking was done. The can opener and I were well-acquainted with each other. Microwaveable meals were a good backup kept in the freezer. Toast and scrambled eggs were made in a pinch. I never starved, just didn’t have a lot of tasty meals while he was away.
To me, cooking is an art. You either have to have been born with the knack and a love of cooking or were taught from an early age to cook; to make it fun so you fell in love with cooking. I wasn’t born with any type of cooking gene. I really don’t like cooking and find it annoying. In this day and age, why can’t scientists come up with a pill you could take, that fills you up and provides you with all the nutrients you need? I mean really it could be that simple.
Now I know some people say, but I love eating! I enjoy food. All the flavours the various textures, etc. Me? Couldn’t care less. I find it annoying to have to help decide what is to be cooked for meals. Then there is the time it takes to cook and after half an hour or so of making the meal, poof, it’s over and done within ten minutes. Then there is the cleanup. I don’t know about you but doing the dishes is not my favourite thing. I don’t mind putting dishes in the dishwasher; however, I never seem to insert the dishes correctly according to my hubby. He always feels the need to rearrange all the dishes to his satisfaction. I’m sure at times I subconsciously put them in wrong just to annoy him.
So, if there are some of you in the same boat as me, we are in good company. For those of you who are fabulous cooks and like to cook, congratulations on being born with the cooking gene. I hope, if you go forth and multiply that you pass it on to the next generation.
Here is to the talented cooks out there – may your culinary genes thrive. For the rest of us, we’ve got takeout and a solid sense of humour.
And, as Tigger would say, “TTFN, Ta, Ta for now!”